How to Come to an Agreement about the Terms of Your Divorce

The simplest and most common type of divorce in America is an uncontested divorce. An uncontested divorce is a divorce where both parties have agreed to the terms of their divorce. This is quick and easy compared to other forms of divorce, as it avoids a lengthy legal battle, and can be completed without a lawyer. While 95% of all divorces in the United States are uncontested, coming to an agreement isn’t always easy. Here are some tips to help you along the way:

1.      Put the kids first: If you and your spouse have children together, consider them your top priority. As long as both of you can agree that the kids should come first, you should be able to work out an agreement that will be fair for the children, as well as for both of you. It is important that you work toward what is genuinely best for the kids. Don’t fall into the trap of using the kids as a tool to negotiate a better deal for you.

 

2.      Don’t be greedy: If you don’t ask for more than you need and are fairly entitled to, you will likely find that your spouse is more willing to agree to your terms. Don’t be a pushover, though. Agreeing to terms that put you at a disadvantage is equally bad, especially if there are custody issues involved.

 

3.      Don’t be stubborn: While you don’t want to be a pushover when negotiating the terms of your divorce settlement, you don’t want to be stubborn, either. Being stubborn can lead you to argue against reasonable terms, prolonging the time it takes to come to an agreement, or even making an agreement impossible. Unless your spouse is asking you to agree to unfair terms, don’t be stubborn. There is a difference between strong negotiation and mere stubbornness. You will have to make some compromises in order to reach an equitable divorce settlement.

 

4.      Use mediators if necessary: You and your spouse are divorcing for a reason. There is a chance that you won’t be able to agree on what the terms of your divorce should be. One or both of you may be greedy and/or stubborn. You may be too emotional to discuss things rationally. In these cases, you may want to use a mediator. A divorce mediator is a neutral third party who will moderate the discussion of your divorce, and help you and your spouse come to a fair agreement.

 

Coming to an agreement with your spouse may seem impossible, but it can be done. Remember that 95% of all US divorces are uncontested.  If all of those people can reach agreements, so can you. It may take time, but it is possible to reach an agreement. Once you’ve agreed to the terms, getting an uncontested divorce is relatively simple, and can be done using an easy-to-use online divorce form. If you keep these steps in mind, you’ll reduce the difficulty that you have coming to an agreement with your spouse, and you’ll be able to get your divorce quickly, quietly, and with your dignity intact.